he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
