Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
