Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
