i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
