i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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