ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just googled if crying burns calories
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
