I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
