I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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