He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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