Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
