yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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