he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
