I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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