he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
