remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
