I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
