After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
