so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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