one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
