What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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