you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
