Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
