No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
