She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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