who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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