That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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