I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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