Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So much rum. So many feels.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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