So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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