Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
