Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
