dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
