guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
