I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
