Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this beer tastes like vomit already
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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