He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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