I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
