Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
