Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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