she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
