Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Are we still banned from the library?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
that is very illegal...i love you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
