Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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