we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
