I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
