successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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