every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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