dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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