I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
