Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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