I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
