Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
