he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my being single is dangerous.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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