hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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