i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
