so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
