Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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