for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
