I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize