Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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