I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
