i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
