that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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