he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
