so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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