Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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