Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
