I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
