Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
