im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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