its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
