When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
