I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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